For all you church folks. Found this kind of humorous, then kind of sadly true of a lot of the places of worship that I've been in...

DEFINITIONS


AMEN: The only part of a prayer that everyone knows.
BULLETIN: Your receipt for attending Mass.
CHOIR: A group of people whose singing allows the rest of the congregation to lip-sync.
HOLY WATER: A liquid whose chemical formula is H2OLY.
HYMN: A song of praise usually sung in a key three octaves higher than that of the congregation's range.
RECESSIONAL HYMN: The last song at Mass often sung a little more quietly, since most of the people have already left.
INCENSE: Holy Smoke!
JESUITS: An order of priests known for their ability to find colleges with good basketball teams.
JONAH: The original "Jaws" story.
KYRIE ELEISON: The only Greek words that most Catholics can recognize besides gyros and baklava.
MAGI: The most famous trio to attend a baby shower.
MANGER: 1. Where Mary gave birth to Jesus because Joseph wasn't covered by an HMO. 2. The Bible's way of showing us that holiday travel has always been rough.
PEW: A medieval torture device still found in Catholic churches.
PROCESSION: The ceremonial formation at the beginning of Mass consisting of altar servers, the celebrant, and late parishioners
RECESSIONAL: The ceremonial procession at the conclusion of Mass- led by parishioners trying to beat the crowd to the parking lot.
RELICS: People who have been going to Mass for so long, they actually know when to sit, kneel, and stand.
TEN COMMANDMENTS: The most important Top Ten list not given by David Letterman.
USHERS: The only people in the parish who don't know the seating capacity of a pew.

On a more serious note, I believe that both candidates have some good qualities, and weak qualities. I'm really not any better off than I was four years ago, and to tell you the truth, I wasn't impressed by the way that the election turned out. The majority had their say, and the other guy won anyway. The whole Florida business really soured me on Bush. I still think we're gonna find a couple of tractor trailers full of votes out in the ocean somewhere.

I think that I'm going to give Kerry a shot. Maybe he CAN do better. I really believe that there should be one six year term with no re-election anyway. Maybe then these folks would actually be able to govern without all of the distractions that election races bring. Seems like they go all out for 2 years or so, and then they're too busy with trying to get re-elected to do anything. They are all hancuffed by the Congress, anyway. I think that's where the difference can be made election-wise.

Just a very humble opinion from a really simple person....